Pregnancy and childbirth changes a woman. It tempers her and makes her strong. But it also scars.
I can look at other pregnant women and see their glowing gorgeousness. I can see the miracle happening inside of them. But I’ve never been able to see it in me. When I’m pregnant, I feel stretched, and spread, and downright mad about losing control of my own body. But all of that pales in comparison to the weight of the insecurity I suffer when I present my postpartum naked self to my husband.
Ladies, my husband is a kind man. He tells me he loves me; he tells me I’m beautiful. And it helps. But not as much as it should, because my emotional insecurity isn’t really about him. It’s about me. It’s about feeling comfortable in my skin even when it’s saggy, and bulgy, and wrinkled. It’s about feeling comfortable in my soul.
So, how do we get there? How do we go from wanting to hide, to being able to hear those words of reassurance our loving husbands offer?
Talk about it: Of course, you need to talk to your husband about it. But, trust me on this, keep the conversation short. If you feel that you absolutely must cry and point out your every shortcoming, call your girlfriend. I’ve never met a man who didn’t want to think his wife was beautiful, who didn’t want his wife to feel beautiful. If you go pointing out all your little flaws to your man, it will only make you both feel defeated.
Also Read: How To Stop Negative Thoughts
Pray/Meditate: The spiritual part of our lives can’t be ignored if we want to be whole human beings. I firmly believe that your sense of self has to ultimately come from a realization that you are more than the sum of your parts. You are deeply loved by a Creator. Author Beth Moore wrote a whole book on the subject. So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been a Bad Friend to Us is a worthwhile read if you’re serious about overcoming the crippling effects of insecurity. Be advised that it’s written from a Christian perspective.